This commercial hit my local market this week, and suddenly it's on every time I turn on the TV. This means I have many, many occasions to scoff and giggle about how this shockingly unflappable pizza-lady is mere moments away from a torturous death. I would question whether the Joker's goal of ordering from Domino's was even the pizza itself; perhaps he simply wants a victim delivered to his door in 30 minutes or less?
The thing that really gets me is the ad people don't even address these very natural assumptions with a closing shot of the girl driving away from the Joker's hideout; the last we see of her is just a dry read of the punchline; "Here's your Gotham City Pizza. And uh, could you tell the Joker he owes me a car?" Um, sure lady, how bout you come inside and tell him yourself? He'll find it hilarious. And I'm pretty sure you will too.
Wow, time flies; the first episode of Venture Brothers Season 3 is available for internet viewing RIGHT NOW over at AdultSwim.com. You're probably going to want to watch that. I'm going to watch it right now. I'm extremely excited. I just watched the first 10 seconds. I'm even more extremely excited. I just watched the whole thing. Entirely satisfying. Big win for fans of the Monarch and Doctor Girlfriend. Continuity/character development heaven. Several lols and one "aww" at the end. I love this show so very much.
The show properly premieres Sunday at 11:30pm on TV, if you still have one of those.
Extra Bonus Funtime 3000: James Urbaniak, voice of Dr. Venture, celebrates the new season with by posting a David Bowie photo to go with each of the show's mains characters. This is possible because David Bowie has not just one outfit, but several ch-ch-ch-changes. Sorry, blame Flight of the Conchords.
In other less-free but still awesome Venture news:
Have you noticed all these ads around NYC for TV Networks, a'cept they're not asking you to watch their network, they're telling you that you should advertise with them? This is because it's time for UPFRONTS, when all the advertising suits come to town and get wined and dined by network suits who show them splashy presentations of their amazing new post-strike fall seasons. And while it's hard to get too excited about anything TV-related because the cultural relevance of network/cable boxed television died with the last really good HBO show, one interesting leak did make it online; the very rough looking teaser for Joss Whedon's return to network TV, Dollhouse.
Why you should not expect this trailer to be very good, after the jump...
Keep in mind this is a teaser designed to appeal to advertisers, not audiences. It's very BASE, is what I'm saying. Not FANbase, just base. As in, lots of clumsy exposition, skin, cheesy aftereffects and bad font choices. And it's not like they have a ton of footage to pull from, they've been in production for a month. A month! This is probably why they don't want this kind of thing leaking on the internet. But as a fan of many people involved on this particular project (faithfaithfaith), I can't NOT watch and post it.
Extra points to anyone who can spot the clip from Buffy Season 3, presumably thrown in because they simply haven't shot enough action sequences to fill a two minutes trailer (again, one month of production). Also note that actor Harry Lennix makes an appearance (the skeptical black guy about 1:45 in), who you might remember from one of those awful Matrix sequels, but who you SHOULD remember from Titus, in which he gave a supervillianous performance for the ages.
Anyway, if you Wheadies out there are looking for more of a reason to have (ahem) confidence in this show (see how I avoided a potential pun there?), check out this New York Magazine article in which Joss says he created Dollhouse to save Eliza Dushku from B-Horror Movie Starlet Hell and that she guilt tripped him into not sheving the writing duties off on someone else. How can a series so steeped in personal drama fail!? The stakes are simply too high.
C'mon, at least pretend to be excited. Don't you owe it to the franchise you spent so many years fawning over and which you still quote from to this day? Who cares if the last three movies weren't as good as you were expecting and this CG movie coming to theaters in August is just the first three episodes of the upcoming Clone Wars animated series? It's STAR WARS. What you need to know: It takes place between Episodes II and III, Anakin will have a Jedi apprentice named Ahsoka (that's her above), the only characters that will be voiced by their original actors are General Grevious and C3PO, and Tartakovsky (the mastermind behind the LAST Clone Wars animated series) has absolutely nothing to do with it. Oh, and instead of the classic 20th Century Fox logo, we'll be graced with the WB shield. That'll be weird.
Now that most live talk shows are back on the air, every show host from NY to LA must be roaming the vacant room that used to house their staff writers, looking for ghosts of inspiration. But all they find is a big empty table and a video game console gathering dust. And they've got come up with a segment about something, and they did the table yesterday.
We've seen Conan O'Brien's overbearing Rock Band showmanship, now here's Ellen simply playing two minutes of Guitar Hero to the delight(?) of her studio audience, as seen on her show last week (via, appropriately, Lesbian Gamer). Analysis after the jump.
Obviously this doesn't compare to the made for YouTube brilliance of Conan's sketch, and I think we all know how much fun it is to watch someone play Guitar Hero on easy, but I'm inclined to give Ellen a break. Her performance style is endearingly familiar, featuring what I like to call the "rocker's lean". This is where you slowly lean back, letting the music flow through you, and you use your leg as a counter weight. Anyone? Maybe it's just me and Ellen.
Also notable is that in her intro Ellen says, of game's addictive qualities, "You lie in bed awake and see the notes and lines." Aha, the Tetris Effect! This is the phenomenon of video game imagery occurring in gamer's dreams and coloring their real life cognition. I think we've all been there. For me, the worst was back at the height of my Myst fixation back in '94, when I went to bed and my thoughts played out in still, sequential images. That was not good. Or when I played Galaxies for a summer and started looking around in real life for columns of lights indicating where my next destination was. That was also a little scary. Though it's kind of interesting to flirt with the experience of being insane.
Ok, so some of you über-Geekanerds probably already knew this, but news to me is news to this site. The theme song from Futurama is ripped-off from heavily inspired by the work of a mid-20th century composer named Pierre Henry. Check out his 1967 music video for the inspiring tune "Psyche Rock":
O how I love dancing transistors! And now for comparison:
The fabled writers strike is finally upon us, and you may start seeing the effects sooner than you think. TV Guide is reporting that the producers of Heroes are going to shoot an alternate ending to the December 3rd episode that will allow it to work as the season finale in the event that the writers strike keeps them from producing the rest of the season. Considering how little I'm enjoying this season already, rushing to a conclusion FIVE EPISODES from now (making it an 11 episode season) will probably ensure I never return. To be fair, that episode was always planned as the end of the current "volume," (while the first season was only one volume, this season was meant to be two) but the admission that additional material would need to be shot to give viewers some closure certainly means some important stuff is gonna get rushed.
80s TV nostalgia is hot right now, and everybody wants a piece. Ain't It Cool News is reporting that there isn't one, but TWO Knight Rider movies on the horizon competing for your brainspace. The first is from series creator Glen Larson and The Weinstein Company, who are putting together a feature film that retells and updates the story of the pilot episode, "Knight of the Phoenix." The plan is to turn it into a franchise that can be milked milked milked into a trilogy. Not to be outdone, Universal/NBC (who still own the TV rights to the franchise) are putting together a two-hour made for TV Knight Rider movie that can be milked milked milked into a series. They announced this after Larson refused to ditch the Weinsteins and make the film with them. Entertainment sabotage! Will one of these projects prevail over the other? Or will we be swimming in talking cars in a couple of years?
Consisting of "flailing arms and quick foot movements", a new FranceDance known as Tecktonik is said to be a mix of "hip-hop and techno", and is discussed at length in this Brietbart article. But a TV geekanerd will recognize that these styles belong to none other than the two most renowned bad dancers in television history...hit the jump for video comparisons. Exhibit A: Elaine Benes
Yay! According to Variety, everyone's favorite 90's pseudo-sport is getting pulled back into production at NBC. They claim it's going to be more character-driven this time out. I assume that means more reality show-style confessional cams and b-roll of the contestants unpacking groceries with their families. As long as they keep the tennis ball cannons I'll be a happy happy boy.
Not many surprises on the list, but it's a good reminder of some far-off productions that you should be very excited about. My most anticipated? The Edgar Wright (Shaun of the Dead, Hot Fuzz) adaptation of Ant-Man. Let's hope he's been reading Robert Kirkman's take on the character, because Wright's storytelling style would fit quite nicely into that framework. Also to be anticipated is Julie Taymor's (Lion King: The Musical, Frida) Spider-Man: The Musical, with music and lyrics by U2's Bono and The Edge. With Taymor's unique visual flair, you can bet this production will be off the wall (punpunpunpun). Also, it appears there is a new X-Men animated series in the works, called Wolverine and the X-Men, from which the above image comes from. Putting Wolverine at the fore seems like an odd move, but I guess they know who their money-maker is. Read the full list of projects after the jump. Licensed Marvel Character Feature Film Line-Up Wolverine, Fox - Director engaged (Gavin Hood) Punisher 2, Lionsgate - Director (Lexi Alexander) and lead actor engaged (Ray Stevenson)
Film Projects Being Developed by Marvel - partial list Iron Man, Marvel - Completed principal photography; May 2, 2008 release The Incredible Hulk, Marvel - Commenced principal photography; June 13, 2008 release Ant-Man, Marvel - Writer (Edward Wright, Joe Cornish) and director (Edgar Wright) engaged Captain America, Marvel - Writer engaged (David Self) Nick Fury, Marvel - Writer engaged (Andrew Marlowe) Thor, Marvel - Writer engaged (Mark Protosevich) The Avengers, Marvel - Writer engaged (Zak Penn)
Marvel Character Animated TV Projects "Spider-Man," Sony - In development; US distribution agreement with Kids' WB "Wolverine and the X-Men," First Serve Toonz (India) - 26, 30 minute episodes in development "Iron Man," Method Films (France) 26, 30 minute episodes in development
Marvel Character Animated Direct-to-DVD Projects Doctor Strange, Lionsgate - August 14, 2007 release Teen Avengers, Lionsgate - Targeted July 2008 release Hulk Smash, Lionsgate - Targeted October 2008 release
Marvel Character Live Stage Projects "Spider-Man the Musical," Hello Entertainment/David Garfinkle, Martin McCallum, Marvel Entertainment, Sony Pictures Entertainment - In development/opening date to be determined; Julie Taymor director; music & lyrics by U2's Bono and The Edge
Marvel 2008 Video Game Releases (Release dates controlled by Publishing partner) "Iron Man," Sega - Targeted 2008 "The Incredible Hulk," Sega - Targeted 2008
Nine Billion Miles From Earth is a classic side scrolling space shooter with 50's sci-fi style (very Flash Gordon). The attention to detail throughout is tremendously exciting, with visible strings holding up most of the spaceships you encounter, and spot-on full motion video of the hero and his nemesis Dr. Cadmus. However, there are a lot of non-spaceship foes like balloon poodles and invincible space sharks that are a little too silly for the generally straight genre humor.
The gameplay itself can be a little frustrating. It's an exercise in patience as you spend life after life (you have unlimited) learning the enemy's attack patterns. There are nine levels in all (each one a billion miles) and it'll take about 45 minutes to play through 'em. It's definitely worth it to see all the great design work.
VERDICT:Well-designed and kinda fun! 4 out of 5 STARS!
Four more quick reviews after the jump! Bible Fight is a fighting game with an all-star cast: Eve, Noah, Moses, Mary (complete with Baby Jesus), Satan, and adult Jesus. They and their corresponding stages are so beautifully rendered that the game is worth playing just to see them all in action. Once you've gotten an eyeful, though, there's not much to stick around for.
There's a reason there have never been any decent fighting games for the PC: keyboards are teh suck for controlling a game that requires quick reflexes and complicated button combinations to pull off special moves. If I had a gamepad I might feel differently about this game, but as it is... Most special moves are impossible to pull off with any useful consistency. Which isn't so bad when you give up and realize how effective it is to just trap your opponent in a corner and tap the kick button as rapidly as you can. VERDICT:Beautiful, but gameplay's rotten. 2 out of 5 STARS!
5 Minutes to Kill Yourself is a really great concept. A dark twist on Office Space, this game finds you controlling a nine-to-fiver who has sat through one too many meetings and would rather kill himself than attend the one that starts IN FIVE MINUTES! You frantically run around an isometric pixel-arty office harming yourself any way you can: shoving your face in a paper shredder, stabbing yourself with scissors, blowing up the microwave in your face, eating urinal cakes, etc etc etc. You can also pick fights with coworkers by navigating dialogue trees trying to offend them.
It's really a blast to discover fun new ways to harm yourself. It won't take long to exhaust all these methods, however, and unless you care about beating your own high score there's no reason to keep playing. It doesn't help that the game generally doesn't run very smoothly, doesn't look great in action, and is a real pain in the ass to navigate. The perspective from which you view the action means that up moves you up-right, right moves you down-right, etc etc. I kinda got used to it after a while, but my non-gamer girlfriend never could get it straight.
VERDICT:Great in concept, a little unpleasant in execution. 3 out of 5 STARS!
Look Alive! should be called "Look Out! Avoid This Game!" It's a simple clicking game based on the funny funny Home Movies. You play as Brendon, trying to kick sockerballs at other kids while Coach McGuirk talks your ear off. The dialogue is funny, but not enough to endure the uninspired, deadening gameplay. Would be more at home on a banner ad.
VERDICT: Boring and boring. 1 out of 5 STARS!
Squidbillies Floor It! is a simple game that's easy to play and extremely addictive. You start out in a car, where you shake your mouse to rev the engine and click to race ahead. You don't get far before you hit a stump and Early shoots out the windshield and high into the air. The game becomes about bouncing off objects on the ground, creating explosions and propelling yourself as far as possible.
The backgrounds are beautifully hand-painted and the character art is straight out of the show. It feels surprisingly good to fly through the air, barely controlling your trajectory. There's some dialogue that is kinda funny but gets repetitive.
VERDICT:Novel, attractive, addictive! 5 out of 5 STARS!
If there's one thing LOST has plenty of, it's Daddy Issues. So in honor of Father's Day, check out this fan re-edit of the inciting incident of the series. The YouTuber mrlerone has taken The Losties' POV from Season One, Desmond's POV from Season Two and The Others' POV from Season Three and smushed them together into the closest approximation of synchronicity he could manage.
Get your hands on the first piece of Will Wright's new masterpiece, and make some creatures that'll put Jim Henson to shame. Well, not really. But you can dream.
